 Even though this post isn’t about homeschooling, I feel it is a topic that needs to be addressed. Santa has become a hot-button topic among many Christians in the last couple of decades, particularly in homeschool circles. I see many posts about “why we don’t do Santa,” yet I have never seen any about the opposite viewpoint. Therefore, I decided to share what my husband and I have prayerfully decided about Santa. If you have already put your stake in the ground against Santa, this post isn’t for you. This post is for young parents who are unsure or for parents who have been made to feel guilty for doing Santa. For those two groups, I hope this sets you free! Because, in the end, Santa isn’t that big of a deal. I know what it’s like, however, to feel intense pressure as a Christian about Santa! When our oldest, Luke, was a baby, my husband and I had to decide what we were going to do about the fat guy in the red suit. We both had fond memories of Santa growing up, and I wanted Luke to have those as well. I also didn’t see what the big deal was. My husband, however, wasn’t so sure. His biggest thing was: isn’t it lying? There was also the argument we had heard from other Christians: You tell your kids to believe in Jesus and Santa, but then they find out Santa isn’t real. Won’t they also wonder if Jesus is real? I honestly thought the second thing - believing in Jesus - was ridiculous. Finding out that Santa wasn’t real was disappointing, sure, but it didn’t rock my entire belief system. My husband wasn’t raised a Christian, so it didn’t impact him much either. Still, the arguments seemed frighteningly convincing. I was in a quandary over it until I read a column written by Dr. Henry Cloud in a Christian parenting magazine. The first thing he said was that parents make a much bigger deal about Santa than it actually is. Santa is not a heaven or hell issue, nor is it really that important in the grand scheme of things. “Huh,” I thought to myself, “he has a good point.” He said that children stop believing in Santa much earlier than parents imagine: six or seven years old! He said that it really has more to do with childhood fantasy and imagination than it does with faith, belief, or philosophy. Children believe in Santa the same way they believe in Mickey Mouse at Disney World. “Real” to them is cut and dried . Mickey Mouse is real? Well of course he is! I met him at Disney World, didn’t I? I see him right there on the TV screen. “Real” has to do with the physical, tangible world to a child that young. A friend of mine experienced this first hand when her daughter Sadie was about four years old. She had, like many parents, decided that telling Sadie to believe in Santa might harm her ability to believe in Jesus. So, one day, when Sadie started talking about Santa, my friend firmly explained to her that he wasn’t real. Sadie’s little brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean he isn’t real? Mommy, we saw him at Walmart!” Your 1-6 year old is going to believe in a lot of pretend things. She’s going to believe that she could turn into a kitten if she just walks around on all fours long enough while meowing. She’s going to believe in Captain America, Pinkalicious, Tinkerbell, and a score of other imaginary things. Then one day, her mind will mature, and she’ll be able to understand the difference between a made up story and real life. It isn’t harmful either for her to pretend. It’s actually an important part of her development. I knew Dr. Cloud was right about this because I had studied it myself in college as an education major. It lined right up with what I knew of childhood development. But what about the lying part? Dr. Cloud said, again, that parents blow this way out of proportion. He used this example: (I’m paraphrasing because I lost this column a long time ago - it was in print of all things!) “Say that I’m working in my office, and my grandson comes running in dressed up in his favorite Spiderman suit. He pretends to shoot webs all over the office, then shouts, ‘Grandpa! Watch out! Doc Ock is gonna get ya! I’ll save you!’ Would I be lying to my grandson if I play along? Of course not! Should I worry that he actually believes these things are real? No! I understand he is engaging in imaginative play like any normal, healthy child.” I’m telling you, this set me free! I realized how absolutely right Dr. Cloud was. After all, when our kids play pretend we don’t stop what we’re doing, sit them down and have a serious conversation like this: “Honey, I need to tell you the truth. Batman isn’t real. He doesn’t run around saving people. He’s made up. We don’t want to think Batman saves people because the only one who saves people is Jesus.” I mean, to most of us, that conversation sounds completely ridiculous. Yet, how many parents do that over Santa? Dr. Cloud said the only time children grow up with resentment over Santa is when they discover that their parents lied to them when they specifically asked if Santa was real. Or, their parents went to elaborate lengths to trick them into believing, OR they attached Santa too much to behavior. Because of the logical, balanced explanation in this article (which my husband also read), we decided that Santa wasn’t a big deal. However, we also committed to two things: #1 We would never lie. If our kids asked , we would tell the truth. #2 We would not emphasize the “naughty or nice” part of Santa. We don’t warn our kids to “be good or Santa won’t come,” and we don’t do Elf on the Shelf because it also has the whole “he sees you when you’re sleeping” thing that is honestly kind of creepy. (Although, that second part is our personal preference. I know some people who only do the fun part of Elf on the Shelf without the "he's watching you" part.) It’s interesting, however, that even when we’ve told our kids the truth, they continue to “believe” in Santa. Maybe it’s because we always say it this way: “No, Santa isn’t a real person. He’s just something fun to make believe. Like Narnia, Black Panther, and Queen Elsa.” Because our children continue to have fun with other imaginary things that they know logically aren't real, they are able to do the same with Santa. I truly think if you frame Santa as merely fun make believe, your kids will be just fine. It’s the whole point anyway, isn’t it? Childhood imagination and fun. That’s all Santa really is.
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*Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission for any purchases. However, all opinions are my own. My kids and I love every single Christmas book I have included links for!*
During the holiday season, keeping students’ interest can be a challenge. I found this to be true when I was a classroom teacher, and it’s also true with my kids in our homeschool. Who can blame kids for being easily distracted this time of year? They’re excited, and honestly, it warms my heart to see children trembling with anticipation. But what do you do about school? Well, since you have flexibility that classroom teachers don’t have, there are several things you can do. The first is the simplest, though it isn’t feasible for everyone: take a school holiday from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. As long as you’re complying with homeschool law with your number of total days and hours of instruction, this is actually a viable option. However, this doesn’t work for everyone, especially if your children have outside work from a homeschool hybrid or online homeschool. Also, if you like to take longer breaks other times of the year, you may not be able to get all of your days in. So, another option is Christmas school! What’s Christmas school? It’s where you take a break from your regular curriculum and make your children’s assignments a bit more festive. Here’s what I mean: #1 Math, Grammar, and Phonics: Holiday themed worksheets Sure, maybe the only difference is snowmen decorating the margins, but it’s amazing how some happy Christmas clip art can make division or prepositions more fun. Other worksheets use actual Christmas scenarios like worksheets with word problems about going Christmas shopping or baking cookies. The website www.teacherspayteachers.com has dozens of these. Some are free, and most others are inexpensive. If you have a subscription to Canva, you can even make your own! One caveat: these are much easier to find for younger students. #2 History and Geography: Unit Studies Take a break from your regular history study and do a Christmas themed unit. For geography, I have done Christmas around the world with my kids. We study the customs and foods of the holidays in different countries. For history, you could learn about the real St. Nicholas or the origins of things like Christmas trees, mistletoe, and wreaths. #3 Math: Baking The easiest way to practice fractions? Do some Christmas baking. Then you get to eat the assignment! My kids and I also make gingerbread cookies, decorate them, and then take them to someone who needs encouragement. We’ve taken them to neighbors, the sales clerk at the store we frequent, or college students studying for exams. This turns a math lesson into a community service project! #4 Literature: A Christmas Book a Day
This is probably my favorite activity during “Christmas School.” I saw the idea either on Facebook or Pinterest years ago. You wrap twenty four Christmas books and put them under the tree. Then, your child gets to open a book every day until Christmas! When I started, we didn’t own that many Christmas books, but over the years I have collected twenty four of them. Before then, we just didn’t do it every single day. My kids love doing this, and they try to figure out which ones are their favorites before tearing off the wrapping. Then, of course, we cuddle up on the couch to read together. Here are some of my favorites from our collection:
What makes it really special is that I only get these books out at Christmas. After the new year, back they go into the closet! #5 Music: Holiday Music Study Learn the history of a different Christmas song or carol every day, then listen to it (or sing it!) together. A quick Google search ahead of time can give you the story behind almost any Christmas song you can think of. #6 Writing: Holiday Copywork You can find lots of holiday-themed handwriting and copywork pages at Teachers Pay Teachers. Or, again, you can make your own. Have them copy lines from Christmas Carols, scriptures from the Nativity story in the Bible, or lines from famous Christmas books like A Christmas Carol or The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. #7 Field Trips: Theater The holidays are probably the best time of the year to expose your kids to theater. Almost every community has a production of some Christmas show. We’ve seen A Christmas Carol at the Alliance Theater in Atlanta and The Best Christmas Pageant Ever at a local children’s theater. Right now, another children’s theater group in our community is doing Elf, Jr. the musical. There’s also usually several local dance studios doing productions of The Nutcracker. Here in Atlanta, the Atlanta Ballet usually does a shortened version of The Nutcracker for school groups at a much cheaper ticket price. Get together with your homeschool group and sign up for such a field trip. Your local newspaper probably has a list of local holiday shows, or you can ask at your public library. Speaking of libraries, they are a great source of holiday educational experiences. You’ll often find visits from Santa, craft workshops, and other great activities going on there. I hope I have gotten your creative juices flowing with great ideas for making school fun during the holidays. Even calling it “Christmas School” during this time makes my kids so much more eager to get their work done. You can go to my pinterest page (@aboveallateacher) for more great ideas. Just look for my board entitled “Christmas School.” Merry Christmas!  You know what my daughter would really love? A blue unicorn. I actually think it would be pretty awesome myself. Of course, it would have to live on nothing but marshmallows and only poop rainbows because I do not need one more responsibility in my life. Unfortunately, blue unicorns do not exist. Even if I painted a horse blue and glued a horn to its head, it wouldn’t eat marshmallows, and it would make a mess of my yard. I’m sure you can tell where I’m going with this. The perfect curriculum? It’s just like a blue unicorn. It doesn’t exist. Sorry if you feel I click-baited you. (I kind of did.) Nothing gets a homeschool mom reading faster than the promise of that ever elusive perfect curriculum. I myself treat homeschool catalogs like the Sears Wishbook when I was a kid. I gleefully dog ear pages and circle things I want. If I’m not careful, I can turn into a curriculum junkie. Here’s a little trade secret, however, from a former school teacher. Are you ready? Get close, because I have to whisper this one: Teachers don’t really use the curriculum. It’s like teachers are Captain Barbosa in The Pirates of the Caribbean. The curriculum is not so much rules as they are guidelines. Get it? You know, like the pirate’s code? Anyway . . . Instead of searching for the perfect curriculum, search for the right materials for your particular child. With that in mind, here are my tips for choosing curriculum: #1 Don’t Do an All-In-One I know it’s tempting to just pay a lump sum and get every subject in a grade-leveled box for each kid. I highly caution against this. For one, I’ve rarely met a homeschool kid who is in the same level in every subject, yet that’s how the boxed stuff is packaged. Second, I have never seen one curriculum company who can knock it out of the park in every single subject. They may have a great, engaging math curriculum, but their phonics is confusing. They may have fantastic living books for history, but provide nothing but dull readers for literature. And if the curriculum is bad over all? You’re stuck with it. In. Every. Single. Subject. Not to mention, most boxed curriculums are extremely traditional and workbook focused. Your child can get bored fast. #2 Expensive Doesn’t Mean Best I have never paid more than $50 for a phonics curriculum. That’s probably surprising because most phonics programs out there cost over a hundred dollars. Some cost hundreds. I promise you, it isn’t necessary to pay that much. You can teach your child to read for far, far less. Explode the Code, Phonics Pathways, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, First Start Reading, Delightful Reading, and The Ordinary Parent’s Guide to Teaching Reading are all inexpensive options for phonics. There are probably others as well. The point is, just because it costs a lot, doesn’t mean it’s great or will work for your child. #3 Just Because it Worked for Them Doesn’t Mean it Will Work for You Now I have a homeschool mom secret to whisper: I hate Saxon math. We don’t use it. This feels sacrilegious almost because it seems like every other homeschool family in the world uses Saxon. But guess what? Those families aren’t teaching my kids. If you try something and hate it, or you look at it and can just tell your kids will hate it, don’t use it. So what if everyone else loves it? They’re not the ones who have to use it with their kids every day. #4 Just Because it Worked for One Kid, Doesn’t Mean it Will Work for the Others Believe me, as much as possible, I use the same curriculum with all three of my kids. But sometimes a certain style of learning just isn’t the right fit for a particular child. For example, each of my three kids uses a different spelling curriculum. I’ll actually make an entire separate post about that later. For now, just know that sometimes you might have to make adjustments for each child in your family. #5 Don’t Be Distracted by the Bells and Whistles It may sound like a great idea to spend the entire year re-enacting Gettysburg, making a hoop skirt, and learning to pitch a teepee like the Kiowa tribe, but before you swipe your credit card, think about it realistically. Will you really have the time for all those activities? How expensive will the material be for that hoop skirt? Do you have a big enough yard for teepees and Civil War battles? Hands-on activities are fine, but make sure there’s something there to fill in the gaps on the days you don’t feel like cooking over an open fire wearing fifteen petticoats. #6 Don’t Purchase Literature Curriculum No textbook is wasted as much as a literature textbook. Your child will be better off reading books. There are so many wonderful children’s novels at your local library. This is one subject you should be able to do for free. I’ve done a separate post on how we do literature in our home school, and all you need is a book. However, if you want to do activities along with a book like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Charlotte’s Web, there are plenty for free online. My kids made their own "Charlotte's Web," and we just used yarn we already had: #7 Don’t Be Afraid to Switch Gears
Is a curriculum just not working for your child? Are they not retaining the concepts? Is the material too dry? Don’t be afraid to toss it, even in the middle of the year. However . . . #8 Don’t Be a Curriculum Junkie Even though you shouldn’t stick with a curriculum that isn’t working, you don’t want to change constantly, either. Especially in math where concepts build upon each other, your child could get confused if you don’t stick with one curriculum long enough. Also, if you’ve changed curriculum in one subject three or more times, I suggest taking a long look at other factors before you change again. Could your child have a learning difference? Is your schedule too chaotic? Children thrive in routine, so be sure you aren’t unsettling them by constantly chasing the next great homeschool product. So that’s it! No blue unicorn, but gathering materials for your homeschool doesn’t have to be difficult. And never forget - the curriculum is just a guideline.  In a previous post, I opened up about my own struggles with test anxiety. I also explained how test anxiety, and performance anxiety in general, is not uncommon. It is especially prevalent among gifted students and autistic students. Even if your child is not identified as gifted or autistic, however, doesn’t mean they may not struggle with performance anxiety. As a matter of fact, anxiety among children and teenagers are on the rise. We could argue all day long over why this is, but the most important question for a parent is this: How do I help my child cope? Performance anxiety affects children in many ways, not just with testing. There are times it can cause your child to freeze or fall apart, even when simply finishing an assignment. I know this from personal experience because my daughter struggles with this. I’m not always perfect in handling it, but I have learned a few tricks along the way. The encouraging thing is that it is much easier to help a child like this when they are learning at home. Tip #1: Stay calm. Easier said than done, because when a child is refusing to even try an assignment, it can test your patience tremendously. I want to pause here and explain something extremely important: Freezing and feeling unable to even begin an assignment is completely different than a defiant child who is simply refusing to do what you ask. Only you, the parent, can discern the fine line that separates the two. It does take patience, however, so pause for a moment to think everything through. If you need to, leave the room for a moment to say a quick prayer for guidance. The most important thing is that you avoid yelling or saying something in frustration. Stern commands tend to backfire with anxious kids. They will only shut down even more. Tip #2: Break tasks down into smaller parts. Haley was recently having an extremely difficult time with her math lesson tests. Because it’s a test, I would give it to her, then leave the room. The problem was, I would return maybe fifteen or twenty minutes later to check on her, and she would still be sitting there with a blank test and her head down in defeat. It would literally take her all day to take a test with only 15-20 problems. We tried just about everything to help her. We reviewed the day before by going over every single type of problem she would see on the test (which she would do with flying colors). I let her do problems on our white board if she wanted to. We prayed. We did breathing exercises. We shook the glitter jar. Nothing helped. However, I still needed to be sure she could do the math we were learning on her own. One test day, I knew we couldn’t afford to do nothing but her math test. So, I made a deal with her: do problem number one, then we’ll take a break and read a chapter from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She happily did the first problem. Then I said, “do problem number two, and then you can color your handwriting sheet.” She happily did the second problem. We continued that way the rest of the day, and she got a 93% on her test! It was the first time she had even passed, much less gotten a good grade. I know what you’re thinking because it crossed my mind too: “But they won’t be allowed to take tests that way in college!” Then I remembered: she’s only ten. We won’t take tests this way forever, but for now, it’s what she needs. As homeschool moms we do need to have long-term goals. However, we have to be realistic in how we get there. We must be patient with our kids on their unique journey towards independence and adulthood. Tip #3: Try a different format. If your child is frozen before a blank sheet of paper, let them do the assignment on a white board or chalk board instead. You can also do an assignment orally if needed. Always ask yourself: what is the point of this assignment? If, for example, the point is to make sure your student knows what medieval monasteries were like, they don’t necessarily have to write down answers on a sheet of paper. Instead, they can tell you about monasteries, draw and label a monastery, or act out a monastery with their stuffed animals. Just changing things up a bit can break them out of their anxiety. Tip #4: Emphasize that your love for them is not attached to performance. You may have to express this a million times before it sinks in, but keep saying it. Say it in a way a kid will understand, too. I always say this to my kids: “You can never do anything that will make me stop loving you.” I will also ask them when they freeze over an assignment: “If you fail, will I stop loving you?” By this point, they know the answer is “no.” Don’t ask it, however, until you’re certain they know the answer! And back the sentiment up with action. Never punish a child for a bad grade if you know they tried their best. When they do fail (because we all do at some point), find things in the assignment that they did well and praise them for it. Approach failure as a learning experience: “Okay, you missed these words on your spelling test, now we know to practice them next week!” Instead of, “How could you miss these words? You know this!” See the difference? Tip #5: Make them laugh. I confess, my husband is better at this than I am. As a matter of fact, if he’s home, I’ll sometimes ask him to take over. (This also gives me a breather if I feel myself getting frustrated.) Sometimes he’ll do a worst case scenario bit. He’ll ask them, “So what happens if you get all your spelling words wrong?” They’ll answer with something like, “I fail the test.” My husband will nod and then say something like, “Oh, so then the house turns into a giant pickle?” Of course, they giggle and say “no, Daddy!” Then he’ll say, “Oh, so YOU will turn into a giant pickle, is that it?” By then, they are giggling even more, and he can get them to start the test or whatever other assignment they have frozen over. Yes, it’s ridiculous, but it works. Other times I offer ridiculous answers when my kids refuse to give me one. Like this: “What’s 56 divided by 7?” *Silence* “Oh, did you say 5 million? Okay, let’s try that.” Usually, they laugh (or groan and roll their eyes) and say, “No, Mommy, it’s 8!” Tip #6: Teach them a breathing exercise. We’ve probably all heard this, but it really can help. Just have them take a deep breath in, then slowly let it out to the count of ten. Make sure they don’t take too many deep breaths in without the rest in between, however, or you can actually make it worse. Here’s a good video on how to do breathing exercises with kids: Tip #7: Give them a glitter jar. It’s amazing how much this helps my daughter. She shakes the jar, and watches the pieces of glitter fall in the water. Doing so calms her (and me!) down. It’s really easy to make one. All you need is an old jar (like a spaghetti sauce jar), glue, glitter, and water. You can find instructions HERE. Tip #8: Pray together. Yes, I’ve saved the best for last. However, it isn’t a simple fix. Some people over-simplify anxiety by saying, “just pray!” I’m not saying prayer isn’t powerful - it absolutely is, but prayer is also something that changes us slowly over time. The transformation that God achieves in our lives is so powerful, that it takes a lifetime. Just think about your own struggles. We’ll just take a common mom struggle as an example: worry. Did you just say one prayer asking God that you wouldn’t worry, and - boom! - you never worried again? Of course not! The Lord probably worked on you over the course of months and years. He showed you His words in scripture and opened up the truth of them to you. He sent you other women of God to encourage you in your journey. He met you in times of worship. He came through again and again with his provision, proving to you that He would always come through. You probably still need reminders from Him not to worry. So why do we expect to say a prayer and suddenly our kids won’t be anxious? Walking in victory is a process for us, and we need to be patient as that process happens in our kids. So yes, absolutely pray together (preferably out loud), but then also practice the other tips above. I hope this list of tips helps you with your anxious child. I’m praying for you! Anxiety can leave even an adult frozen in her tracks. However, there is always hope! You were equipped by God to walk through difficulties like this with your child. He didn’t make a mistake when he made me Haley’s mom, and he didn’t make a mistake with you, either. Blessings to you, Mama!  Disclaimer: Laws vary state to state and country to country on how often homeschool parents must test their students, how they should be tested, and what should be done with the results. Please consult the laws for your area before making any testing decisions for your child.
My whole life, I have been a good student. From kindergarten to college, I made good grades and was praised by my teachers. My kindergarten teacher recommended me for the gifted program, and in first grade I was evaluated. My IQ was above average, so I started gifted classes, which I loved. When we took the CAT test in early elementary school, I scored off the charts. I did the same later on the ITBS test. But . . . In second grade, I struggled to pass my timed multiplication tests which, my math teacher kept reminding me, I had to pass to go to third grade. My mom got me a tutor, we watched Multiplication Rock constantly at home, my parents quizzed me with flash cards. However, it seemed the more I took the test, the worse I did. The second the test was placed on my desk, I would freeze. I started getting stomach aches and crying every single morning about going to school. One day in math class, I wet my pants. Things didn’t turn around until the school counselor met with me. She explained that, despite what my teacher said, there was no way I would be held back in the second grade. Once I knew that, I passed. In fourth grade, some politician apparently decided that gifted kids should be re-tested every year to stay in the program. I loved being in the gifted program, and I was terrified of being “kicked out.” Yet, since I always tested so high on other standardized tests, my parents and teacher weren’t worried. They were shocked when I tested only in the 84th percentile (you needed to hit 85th to “still” be gifted). My teacher just knew something was wrong with me that day, so she got permission to retest me. I did even worse the second time. She got permission to test me a third time. When my mother told me, I burst into tears. She made the very difficult decision to just accept my fate. According to the state of Georgia, I wasn’t gifted anymore. (Which is impossible, just so you know.) Fast forward to high school, and despite my high GPA, despite the fact that I graduated 21st in my class out of over three hundred students, I only scored in the 80th percentile on the Georgia state writing test. (I went on to teach English and publish books). My SAT scores were below average. Despite those SATs, I still received several scholarships and was invited to Asbury College to compete for one full scholarship and several half scholarships. I tell this slightly embarrassing story to illustrate an important fact: standardized tests are not always an accurate measure of a child’s abilities. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I know what was going on: I had test anxiety. When a test had no stakes, I did wonderfully. When I felt my future and my worth were wrapped up in the test, I choked. I’m so thankful for how my teachers framed the CAT and the ITBS back in the 80s. “This doesn’t count for anything,” they would tell us. “It’s just to let us know how we’re all doing. No one but you will know your score.” I can’t imagine what it would have been like for me if those tests had the same stakes they do now! It’s funny, but no one knows more about the limitations of standardized tests than educators. Much research has been done to show that these tests do more harm than good. Why might your child score poorly on such a test despite their intelligence? Here are a few factors:
So, am I saying you should never give your homeschooler a standardized test? Actually, no. I wish I could, but unfortunately, these tests aren’t going anywhere. They are a necessary evil, so to speak. Even if your state does not require regular testing, it is a good idea to do it anyway just to practice those test skills I mentioned. After all, you don’t want the first standardized test they ever see to be the PSAT or SAT. Here are some tips, however, to deal with the above issues: #1 Don’t Make a Big Deal Out of It - This is the most important thing you can do. Your child may still have anxiety, but you can greatly reduce it by staying calm yourself. #2 Test at Home if Possible - I highly recommend the PASS test. It’s developed specifically for homeschoolers, and any parent can give it at home. Doing this will address anxiety, accommodations for special needs, hunger, and fatigue. The PASS test isn’t timed, so overthinking the questions won’t penalize your child. You also don’t have to do it all in one day, which will allow for breaks to go outside or get a snack. #3 Do a Test Prep Book - There are tons of inexpensive books to help your child practice the format of a standardized test. One thing to be aware of: there is no way you can practice the content of a test. There are literally millions of possible questions. That’s not the point of practicing. The point is to become familiar with how tests are set up and build skills like narrowing down answers. Make sure you pick a book that includes practicing with an answer sheet. Choosing an answer, finding the corresponding letter on the answer sheet, then bubbling it in is a skill that takes practice. #4 But Don’t Waste Tons of Time on Test Prep - Want to know one huge reason I decided to homeschool? As a teacher, I was appalled at how much instructional time was eaten up by preparing for and taking tests. Don’t do that in your homeschool - it’s why your child is learning at home to begin with! #5 Keep the Results in Perspective Remember that your child’s score is not a reflection on her intelligence or your value as a parent. If you take the results personally, so will your child. (I’m preaching to myself here, believe me!) The scores should only be used to assess possible weaknesses in your curriculum. Remember my division example? Guess what we worked on a lot the next year? This is another reason I love the PASS test; the results are broken down by concepts so you can see what specifically your child got wrong. #6 Don’t Use Test Scores to Argue for Homeschooling Your child is not responsible for validating homeschooling with a high score. No one is entitled to know the score - not grandma, not your next door neighbor, not your friend at co-op. In Georgia, I don’t even have to tell the state. All I have to do is keep them on file, just in case. You may have heard that homeschoolers out-perform public school kids. Guess what? I don’t care. All I need to know is what’s working for my own kid. Full stop. I hope this helps you, Mamas! Testing is a thorn in our sides, but we can learn to bear it, right? And we’ll all pray for the day these tests disappear. Can I get an amen? 
*Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links which means I receive a small commission on any purchases. However, all opinions are my own. I never recommend any resources that I don't love!*
I’ve shared in the past how our homeschool is mainly a combination of classical and Charlotte Mason, but that I also do unit studies from time to time. We tend to do a unit study when we get to a period of history that has a lot to cover. History tends to be the easiest subject to build a unit study around. Why is that? Well, historical events happen in the context of their culture. The culture of that time period has music, art, fashion, and literature. There are also scientific advances happening, and math can be applied to the economics and statistics of the time period. My favorite book series for unit students are the “For Kids” series published by Chicago Review Press. These are large books filled with amazing photographs and activities. They have Native Americans for Kids, J.R.R. Tolkien for Kids, Code-Cracking for Kids, The Civil War for Kids, The US Congress for Kids, Galileo for Kids, and many, many more! I am including a link to some of these titles on Amazon at the end of this post, but for a complete list of titles go to Chicago Review Press’s website:chicagoreviewpress.com
We did a unit study using World War II for Kids. Before I get into the details of it, I want to first say two important things. One, these books have way more content than you could ever complete, so pick what is doable for your family and activities you think your kids will enjoy. Second, we did our unit study during the complete Covid-19 lockdown back in March and April of 2020. For that reason, we had tons of extra time in our homeschool day. There were no co-ops, no sports, no church. So I probably couldn’t do as much now as I did then. Be realistic in what you can accomplish.
The book and it’s set up:
Sample pages from the book:
The Activities:
#1 Extinguishing an Incendiary Bomb: There was no bomb involved in this activity, obviously! We used a garden hose, a bucket filled halfway with dirt, a shovel, a broom, and a rock (the book said to use a potato, but we didn’t have any, so we used a rock shaped like a potato.) We first read about the Blitz in London and how finding a bomb like this in your living room was a reality for many Brits. Then we went outside and followed the same instructions British moms and kids had to use if they found such a bomb in their house!
Subjects used (besides history): science and math (the kids had to measure the correct distance to stay away from our rock “bomb”)
#2 Break the Code: This one was really simple. Using the instructions in the book, my kids made up a code, then wrote messages to each other using their code. Subjects used: writing and math
#3 Camouflage Activity: My kids went into the woods behind our house (without me, though I could see them well enough through the kitchen window). They took my oldest son’s bike and used branches and leaves to camouflage it just like troops did during the war with their jeeps and tanks. Then they had me and my husband come outside and try to find the bike. (The book said to use binoculars at a distance, but we don’t own any.) They did a really good job - can you see the bike?
Subjects used: science and math
#4 Rationing Game: We actually spread this game out for several weeks. We first made a rationing book for our family, using the information in the book. Since we were on lockdown for the pandemic, we were getting groceries delivered. So every time the groceries arrived, the kids had to count everything we had purchased and cut out the correct number of ration coupons our family had used. This activity ended up being very timely as certain items during the pandemic were difficult to get, just like during World War II. It helped remind us that in difficult times, we all have to pitch in and make sacrifices. Subjects used: math, science (nutrition now vs in the 1940s), and for us, religion (how can we trust God to provide for our needs, how we can put others ahead of ourselves during difficult times)
#5 V-Mail: Full disclosure, only my daughter did this one. It was just one of those days, and forcing the boys to do it felt like a battle that wasn’t worth fighting (no pun intended!). So, Haley followed the instructions in the book on how to set up her letter (it had to be certain dimensions, or it wouldn’t be delivered), then I “censored” it with a black sharpie. Haley had fun drawing a picture for the “soldier” she was writing to like depicted in the book.
Subjects used: math (measuring), art #6 Go on a Reconnaissance Mission: My kids loved this one the most. As a matter of fact, they loved it so much, I had to force them to come inside and get ready for bed. You have to wait until after dark to do this activity. The kids basically mapped out our cul de sac and recorded any “suspicious” activity with the use of a flashlight, pen, and paper. Two of them would go on the “mission” while another would stay behind as backup. They had to “synchronize” their watches, and if they weren’t back in time, the third person would go on a “rescue mission.” Needless to say, this got very dramatic. Subjects used: math and drama (haha) #7 In Hiding: You can probably guess what this one is about. If you have kids who are extremely sensitive or get frightened easily, this one may not be for you. My kids had to pretend they were Jews in hiding. They had to find a place in our house to hide from the Gestapo. The book gave them things to consider about how good of a hiding place it was. We prepared the hiding place with books, flashlights, food, a journal, pens and pencils, blankets, a couple of chairs, etc. Our house is pretty small and has no basement or attic, so my kids had no choice but to use the master bedroom walk-in closet. I distinctly remember Ian, my youngest saying, “well, we’d be caught for sure.” Once you get the hiding place ready, you pretend that the Gestapo has come to search the house, and the kids go and hide in the designated place. You’re supposed to wait an hour to give them the all-clear, but my kids didn’t make it anywhere near that long. It did lead to an interesting discussion, however, when my kids tried to imagine hiding like that for weeks, months, or years. Subjects used: problem solving, yet even more important, is the compassion and empathy for others that can come from this activity #8 Medics: I actually made this one up. There is an activity to make bandages, which we did, but then I expanded it. Another section of the book outlined what medics had to do in the field to stabilize the wounded and transport them as safely as possible. The kids took turns being the wounded and the medics. Subjects used: science and math (to measure out the bandages), and conservation/recycling (like those on the 40s homefront, we used old shirts to make the bandages) Here is Haley making bandages on "the homefront" and she and her big brother playing medic and nurse to injured "soldier" Ian. (You also get a glimpse of our messy house, lol):
Literature: Along with all of the above, we also read the following books:
I actually had plans to do several other activities in the book, but then things got in the way. Yes, even during a pandemic lockdown, things happened to throw a wrench in our plans. We were still doing some of our core subjects in addition to the unit study, so sometimes I felt we needed to focus on some more traditional school. Other days, frankly, the kids were emotional from the stress of the pandemic and needed a breather. (Or maybe I was the one who needed an emotional breather, lol!) The main point is, my unit didn’t match my original plans in the end, but the kids still learned a lot, and two years later, they are still talking about some of it.
There are many more activities that we didn’t do like listening to music from WWII, making a butter extender, learning to say key phrases in different languages, making uniform insignias, and making a ration kit. You can also make a care package to send to a soldier or missionary overseas just like families did in WWII. Because if there’s one thing my family learned in this unit, it’s that people don’t change all that much. We still have to pull together and love one another to conquer evil, whether that evil is war, racism, or disease. That love really can conquer all. Some titles (with links - click on image) from the For Kids series: 
*Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small comission for any purchases. However, all opinions are my own. *
Have you often felt that your understanding of geography is lacking? If you do, you’re not alone. Most American adults will probably tell you that they were taught very little world geography growing up in school. Amatuer “word on the street” interviews and formal surveys back it up. Most Americans can’t tell you where the majority of countries are on a map, and many don’t know their state capitals. One thing I was sure of when I decided to homeschool: my kids would know where countries were on a map. They would not be a statistic. The question was - how did I do that? The traditional idea in education today is that social studies (geography, culture, and history) should start with the child and then branch outward. You talk about family units and neighborhood “helpers” like firefighters and doctors in preschool and kindergarten. Through most of elementary school, you study the history of your town, state, and country. Only when a child is late elementary, at the earliest, do kids branch out to the world at large. The thought is that kids can’t understand things far removed from their own lives. The classical model of education is vastly different. In a classical education, the history of the entire world should be taught chronologically. Geography, therefore, begins with the earliest civilizations with recorded history: those on the continents of Africa and Asia. This gives a child a sense that there is a great big world out there, and they are only a small part of it. It combats the self-centeredness that permeates so much of our culture. I’ve also found that young kids are extremely fascinated by the cultures of faraway lands. This was especially important to my husband who is an associate pastor over missions at our church. He wanted our kids to have a global worldview, and I agreed. The classical cycle of geography, therefore, made the most sense. This is the order in which you learn geography classically: Africa, Asia, Europe, the South Pacific Islands, Australia, South America, North America, then your own country’s geography in more detail (for us, that’s the United States). You go through the cycle, then you start over again, then you start again. By the time they graduate, your child will have studied world geography at least three times. My three kids do geography together, so they don’t all necessarily start the cycle in the same place, but that’s okay. The general idea is to broaden their worldview beyond their own culture. So, how do we do it? Well, after years of tweaking, I have come up with the simplest way to teach my kids world geography. I was able to see the fruit of my labors when we watched the Tokyo Olympics opening ceremonies a couple of months ago. My kids knew where almost all of the countries were (generally speaking). It was exciting that my kids knew about countries that I didn’t even know existed until I was an adult. We start with Kathy Troxel’s Geography Songs. It comes with a giant world map that I hang on the wall. Inside the book that accompanies the music CD, are maps of each area. As we listen to the song, I point to each country on the map inside the book with the end of a pencil. (Sometimes it takes me a few tries to get the hang of it!) After we sing the song, we look more closely at the culture of one of the countries featured in the song.
I’ve purchased two fascinating and gorgeous books for this: Material World and Hungry Planet. Even though these books were written in the 90s, they still give a great taste of different cultures with stunning photographs. Your kids will get a glimpse of an ordinary family from that country. (Please note that occasionally there is National Geographic type nudity in these books.)
However, there are many countries not covered in these books. If a country isn’t featured, I see if our public library has a book on it. My favorite series is Enchantment of the World:
I don’t read these books, by the way. We just flip through them together and look at the pictures to get a visual of what the place is like. In addition, we pray for that nation. These books, being secular, don’t tell us the full picture of what’s going on spiritually in these countries. For example, Enchantment of the World will claim that the middle eastern countries have freedom of religion. While that may be technically true, most of us know that isn’t what’s actually happening. For great information on how to pray for these countries, you can check the Voice of the Martyrs website.
When we do United States Geography, I use the series America the Beautiful:
We also loved flashcards of state capitals similar to these:
I highly recommend using the library for getting a visual of these countries and states to cut down on the expense. After we look at one of these books for our “country of the week,” we color that country in on the large world map that came with Geography Songs. My kids like to take turns choosing what color we will use. We also find the country on our globe. I highly recommend investing in a globe because flat maps change the shapes of the countries. For example, you can’t tell on a flat map how large Alaska is or how far away from the mainland United States Hawaii is. On a globe, you can.
Then, I give my kids a blank map of whatever continent/region our geography song is covering. I use Hands On Geography (we don’t do the activities, just the maps). You can also find great blackline maps for free online. My kids fill in as many countries (or states) they can from memory, then they use an atlas to fill in the rest. I like National Geographic World Atlas for Young Explorers. My Kids Filling in their Weekly Maps:
Once we finish an entire continent, we do a huge map from mapsfortheclassroom.com. I love these maps because they are so enormous, making it easy to fill in everything. The downside is, several years ago they suddenly went from being homeschool friendly to being geared only for schools. You now have to place a minimum order of twelve maps. I simply ordered all the maps I needed for years to come, but you could also go in with another family. Thankfully, you just have to order twelve maps total, not twelve of the same map. Another upside is that the maps are inexpensive. Here are my kids with their Africa maps:
It takes us about three weeks or more to finish these, especially since we only do geography on Mondays. That’s right, you only have to do this once a week. If you’re thinking that’s not enough, you can increase it for your family. However, I’ve personally found it difficult to do it more frequently. It’s still way more geography than I got in school, however.
What about projects? Keep in mind that those are very time-consuming. I recommend only doing projects occasionally. Holidays are a good time to pause and do some projects. For example, we did a Christmas around the world unit that was fun. You just want to make sure your kids are actually learning and retaining the names of the countries and where they are on a map. Even if they can’t find the specific location of a country like Tunisia, at least they will know what continent and general area it’s in. If you spend too much time making French crepes or Chinese paper lanterns, your kids won’t have time to commit the map skills to long term memory. Just something to keep in mind. I hope I’ve helped you feel more confident about giving your kids a great foundation in world geography! 
* This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission for any clicks or purchases. However, all opinions are my own. *
You may have noticed that one of my purposes for this blog is to share with you my mistakes so you won’t have to make them. However, I know that no matter how many blogs you follow, no matter how many books you read, you will make mistakes. I want to encourage you: you don’t have to be perfect to homeschool your child well. Classroom teachers aren’t perfect, and you won’t be either. It’s okay. What better way to encourage you than to share my own homeschool fails with you? I’ve honestly made so many, I can’t even remember them all! I made mistakes as a classroom teacher, too. Here, however, are my three biggest homeschool fails. Perhaps you can relate. #1 The Phonics Nightmare Between my three kids, I have used five different phonics curriculums. Every time I have switched, it has been because the previous experience was an unmitigated disaster that I feared had made my children despise reading forever. It’s never good when your child starts to cry as soon as you get the phonics book out. With Luke, my oldest, I first tried Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Let me tell you, there was nothing easy about it. Every lesson was supposed to take fifteen minutes. It took us three times that. They used this weird way of writing the letters phonetically that made no sense to Luke (or me, for that matter). Then he was supposed to write certain letters several times, at which point he would throw his pencil and writhe on the ground like he needed an exorcism. He was delayed in his fine motor skills and was only five, so I don’t know what I was expecting. The day he screamed, “no!” when I got the book out, I knew it was time for a change. (I felt like screaming myself). We switched to Explode the Code, which wasn’t great, but he at least didn’t scream when he saw the books. Even though they were workbooks, I reduced the amount of words he had to actually write (a lot of it was circling the correct words or letters). Even though his phonics experience wasn’t the greatest, he’s now reading voraciously, and on a college level. The first book I tried with Haley, my middle child, was Phonics Pathways. It didn’t have weird phonics symbols or a writing component, so I thought we’d be okay. Wrong. She never screamed. No, she cried. Sobbed at times. Eventually, just seeing the book was enough to elicit tears. It got so bad, she started struggling to breath just looking at the list of words she was supposed to sound out. At first, I made her a glitter calming jar to shake when we did phonics. Then I suddenly thought, “What am I doing?” She loves to draw, so I looked for a phonics curriculum with an art component, and discovered First Start Reading by Memoria Press. She began to have success with it. It still wasn’t perfect and had way too much writing, in my opinion, but it seemed to be working. As the lessons got more difficult, she started to hyperventilate again when she saw long lists of words to sound out, so we just went really slow, reading only five or six words at a time. Haley now loves to read and is reading on grade level. The entire experience of teaching my first two kids to read was humbling in the most agonizing way. Everyone assumed it was the easiest part for me. After all, I was an English education major. Here’s what nobody understood: when you get a degree in teaching middle and high school students English literature, the assumption is that your students already know how to read. I didn’t know anything more about how to teach a child to read than the next mom. An older homeschool mom gave me the most encouraging piece of advice during this time period. She said, “There are two great mysteries in parenting: potty training and learning how to read. You think they’re never going to get it, but somehow, they do.” (I was also potty training a toddler when she told me this - I seriously started crying!) When it came time to teach Ian, my youngest, to read, I was on a mission: find a phonics curriculum that didn’t require any writing or workbooks. I also didn’t want to pay a small fortune for it. (Why do so many phonics curriculums cost hundreds of dollars?) I discovered Simply Charlotte Mason’s Delightful Reading Series. We have absolutely loved it! My older two always complain, “why didn’t we get to do that when we learned to read?” I know that every kid is different, and that there’s no perfect phonics curriculum, but of all five that I have tried, this is the one I recommend the most. You can check it out on their website here: 
#2 The Tragic Ballad of Dusty and Princess
When my oldest two were in first grade and pre-k, for science we just checked out the Let’s Read and Find Out science books from the library. The series has all kinds of topics from the five senses, to how a seed grows, to how a tadpole becomes a frog.
Now, when we read What’s It Like to Be a Fish?, I had already had one semi failure with one of these books. When we read How a Seed Grows, it tells you to plant beans in an egg carton, and dig a different one up each day to see how it’s growing. One seed you let grow for two weeks, and you get a little bean plant! I am the worst gardener in the history of the world, I promise you, so I was pretty proud that this little plant survived. The question was, now what did we do with it? Luke and Haley didn’t want it to die, so I thought maybe we could plant it in the backyard.
I went to my friend Amanda, a fantastic gardener, to ask her what I should do. As she talked about proper soil, the right place in the yard to get the perfect amount of sun, and getting a bean pole to support the plant, my head spun. I did a sneaky mom thing: I threw the little plant in the garbage and hoped the kids wouldn’t notice. However, when What’s It Like to Be a Fish? suggested getting a goldfish, I thought, “how hard can it be?” So we went to Walmart and Luke and Haley picked out two goldfish whom they named Dusty and Princess. I was shocked at the cost of aquariums, so we just got a bowl. Again, how hard could it be? Famous last words.
Taking care of a goldfish in a bowl, you know, without the filtering and stuff on a nicer aquarium, is a pain in the neck. The water gets disgusting fast, so you have to clean it every few days. Unbeknownst to me, you also can’t just put the fish in a baggy, wipe out the bowl, then put them back in new water. Oh no, the little guys are sensitive to the temperature of the water, so you have to use old water in their little bags, then let them sit in their bags in the new water for a little while, then, when the temperature is perfect, you can release them into the clean water.
I’m sure you know where this is going. Yes, I killed Dusty and Princess. In my defense, I did keep them alive for about a month. But one fateful day, sick and tired of cleaning out the bowl, I didn’t wait as long as I should have to reintroduce the fish to the bowl. Princess went into shock immediately, poor thing. Dusty lasted about a day. The worst part is, I was secretly glad because I didn’t want to clean that stupid bowl anymore. My children weren’t particularly attached to the fish, so I flushed them down the toilet without saying anything. It was weeks before they noticed. Actually, they noticed the empty bowl in the garage first. We had a beloved dog at the time, so I don’t think it really affected them all that much. Scout was far more fun, after all. You can’t cuddle a fish or play catch with it. Hopefully, they at least learned some science despite their mother’s touch of death. Speaking of which . . . #3 The Ant Farm of Death 
Apologia’s Young Explorers Series: Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day recommends a few hands-on activities with living things. One of them is getting an ant farm and watching the hard working little guys go about their lives. I ordered one from Amazon, despite my misgivings. We had skipped so many of the experiments, I was starting to feel guilty.
Here’s the thing: an ant farm doesn’t arrive at your door with ants inside. You either have to go outside and catch some ants yourself, or you order the ants separately. Since I certainly wasn’t about to go ant hunting, I ordered ants.
I can’t believe I just typed that. You might be a homeschool mom if . . . Anyways, when the ants arrive, you can’t just put them inside the farm because they’ll crawl all over the place instead of going inside. (And yes, they can bite you. They aren’t fire ants, but still . . .) So, you have to put them in the refrigerator for a little while to put them to sleep, but not too long or you’ll kill them. I put the little tube they were in inside the fridge, but I was paranoid I would kill them, so when I got them out and started dumping them into the farm, they started to wake up. I started screaming as I frantically dumped them into their home. Things only went downhill from there (no pun intended). The other thing we discovered is that you have to keep your home at a certain temperature if you have an ant farm. If the ants get too cold, they will die. The instructions said to keep it between 65 and 75 degrees fahrenheit. No problem, we thought. Well . . . It was spring when we got the ant farm, and spring in the deep south where we live is very confusing. It could be fifty degrees when you wake up in the morning, then be eighty that afternoon. So we would start the day with the heat on, then have to turn on the air. One night before bed, we forgot to turn the heat on. We woke up to a freezing house the next morning. And a lot of dead ants in the ant farm. However, once the house warmed up, some of the ants started perking back up. We breathed a sigh of relief. We also got a rather macabre lesson in ant colonies: they have a burial room. We watched the poor little ants carry their fallen comrades to a special section they had created in the farm. Over the next few days, we sadly watched more and more ants succumb to death. We made sure to turn the heat on each night, but it was already too late. Soon there was only one poor ant carrying dead bodies. All alone. It was probably the most depressing homeschool lesson possible. Epic mom fail. My kids still to this day talk about the last ant left. I’m suddenly getting very emotional about this memory. God, I probably scarred my kids for life. These three stories don’t even cover all of the times I’ve been too lazy to do an experiment in science or a hands-on project in history. It doesn’t outline the times I’ve gotten confused explaining something, confusing my children even more. There are also the epic fails I made as a classroom teacher. Like an activity on the Holocaust where I had all my ninth graders take their shoes off and put them in a giant, messy pile only for the fire alarm to go off. You know that scene in Kindergarten Cop when Arnold Schwarzenagger’s class comes running out of the building during the fire drill screaming in chaos, and the entire rest of the school is standing there waiting for them? Yeah, that was my class, but without shoes. I hope by sharing some of my most embarrassing moments as a teacher and a mom, it’s helped you be a little less hard on yourself. Someday, we can all laugh at our epic fails. While shedding a tear or two for the ants. (But not the fish. God, I hated cleaning that bowl.)  When your kids homeschool, typical questions that adults ask can be a bit tricky. The first one they always ask is, “Where do you go to school?” My kids don’t mind telling people that they homeschool, and I’ve honestly never gotten an odd or negative reaction. We live in an area with a large homeschooling community, so most people have heard the answer before.
The other common question adults ask kids is, “What grade are you in?” This one can be tricky for homeschoolers since our kids aren’t in a school with leveled classes. In my last post, I talked about the pressure to push your kids ahead as a homeschooler. We don’t need to see this innocent question as a test to prove our homeschooling abilities or our children’s success. So I just tell my kids they are in the grade they would be in if they were in school. I know, your kid’s in the 6/7 Saxon Math book, and you’re proud of the accomplishment. Your kid just read a novel on a high school reading level, and you want to shout it from the rooftops. “See! Homeschooling is a good option!” But the thing is, that adult probably doesn’t care. They’re just being polite (especially if they’re a stranger) so just have your kid say the grade that their age fits into. If they’re six, just say they’re in first grade. If they’re ten, they’re in fifth grade. This also makes things a lot easier when you sign your kids up for activities like rec sports, camps, and vacation Bible school. I volunteer for our children’s ministry at church, and I can’t tell you how annoying it is when a homeschool mom is trying to insist that her eight year old is so advanced and needs to be with the middle schoolers. Make things easier on everyone and just let your kid be with the other eight year olds. Besides, what’s the rush? Why are so many homeschooling parents eager to push their children to grow up? I don’t think parents realize that’s what they are doing, I get that. They want their child challenged, and they want their intellect to reach its fullest potential. But be warned, there is a cost. When you put an eight year old with twelve year olds, she’s going to look up to those older girls, and she’s going to start emulating them. Gone will be the Barbies and the American Girl dolls, and in their place will be make up and a constant badgering for an iphone. I don’t know about you, but one reason I have chosen to homeschool is so my children can enjoy their childhoods. I’m not going to mess that up by trying to insist in every social situation that my child is above grade level. It’s not going to hurt their academic achievement to play soccer, attend music camp, or go to Sunday school with same-aged peers. If you want them to be challenged in their curriculum, that’s great! A lot of homeschool curriculum companies avoid grade labels for this very reason. Math U See uses primer, alpha, beta, etc, so you can put a child in the level they need regardless of age. Other curriculums use level A, level B, C, et. You can specialize their learning in each subject (this is why I don’t recommend all-in-one boxed curriculums). For example, my oldest is in Level G spelling, 8th grade grammar, reads on a college level, and is in level Zeta with Math U See. He’s thirteen and in the seventh grade (because we would have held him back a year in kindergarten because he has a summer birthday). All they need to know at co-op, church, and football is that he’s a seventh grader. End of story. I’ll end with a story from an older and wiser mom. A few years back, my husband was a private tutor for three homeschool teenagers. One of the moms wanted to fast-track the girls so they could graduate from high school at fifteen. The other two moms were hesitant. One of them had this to say (I’m paraphrasing): “Years ago, my sixteen year old daughter left for school. Little did I know that was the last time I would ever see her. She died in a car accident on the way to school that day. A few months later, I was shocked to discover that I was pregnant again. At my age, in grief, with a thirteen year old reeling from losing her sister? What was the Lord thinking? He was thinking that a baby would pull me out of the dark pit I was in. I named that baby girl Grace, for that’s what she was - God’s grace. Now I sit here and Gracie is fourteen years old. Only two years younger than her big sister was when I lost her. I’m in no hurry to lose another child. I don’t care how successful she is in academics. I won’t rush her to grow up. Not when I know too well how short life is.” Her words will never leave me. I hope they impact you, as well. Perspective is always of value when it comes to our children. They will grow up sooner than we would like. Why rush it?  I don’t know about you, but I have noticed a trend in homeschool circles. Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone has their kid in a “higher grade”? I put that in quotation marks because, when you homeschool, is there really a grade level? I mean, unless you go to a homeschool hybrid or co-op where they are put in graded classes, aren’t they just . . . learning at home? I mean, how do you group a kid when there is no group?
Yet, you hear this all the time from homeschool parents: “John is seven, but he’s doing fifth grade work.” “Brittney is twelve, but she’s starting high school this year.” “Adam is looking at graduating at fifteen! He’ll have his masters by the time he’s twenty-one!” Sometimes, it can feel like only geniuses homeschool. I promise you, however, this isn’t true. Everyone always talks about how homeschoolers can go at their own pace, but the pace most people emphasize is a fast pace. We hear how homeschoolers aren’t forced to have the curriculum “dumbed down.” We hear how they aren’t held back by the rest of the class. But you know what? Faster isn’t the only homeschool pace. There’s a different pace no one likes to talk about in homeschool circles, but it is just as important, maybe even more important. It’s a slower pace. People are sometimes shocked when I, a former public school teacher, disagree about things being “dumbed down” in public schools. Because actually, if you look at national and state standards, including the much-despised common core curriculum, it seems the opposite of dumb. It seems pretty rigorous, actually. Kids reading fluently by first grade? Students learning algebraic concepts in second grade? Wow, American kids are really advanced! Not actually. Ask any teacher, and they will probably tell you that yes, the curriculum, the standards, sound really great on paper. Unfortunately, the students aren’t learning any of it. “A mile wide and an inch deep” is how we always used to describe it when I was teaching public school. The thing is, teachers feel this constant rush to cover everything at breakneck speed because there is just so much of it. If certain kids fall behind, well the train can’t slow down. Those standardized tests are in April, so they just have to keep chugging along. When it comes to actually learning things, “fast” or “slow” are the wrong words to worry about. The only thing that should matter to a teacher is mastery. So, if your child masters things quickly, fine. However, if it takes them a little longer, so what? You are homeschooling, my sweet Mama. There is no herd to trample your kid if they can’t keep up. Which matters more: that you checked off the lesson on their seven times tables by the end of first grade? Or that they still know that 7x8= 56 for the rest of their lives? When they are an adult, will anyone know or care how old they were when they learned to read? No! The only thing that will matter is that they can understand the things they read. Sometimes, a slower pace is exactly what a child needs. And I’ll be completely honest: you don’t know for sure if that seven year old is really doing fifth grade work. I think some parents rush through curriculum, succumbing to the pressure to prove that their child is ahead. Then, at the end of the day, all their child did was finish the book. They didn’t actually learn it. I’m not saying this is always the case, but I bet it happens more than we’d think. So take a deep breath, Mama. Give your child time to learn at his own pace - no matter what that pace is. You can’t force it anyway. And when you feel the pressure, count to ten and repeat this three times: “I have nothing to prove to anyone.” Do what’s best for your kid, and when people ask what grade they’re in? Just say the grade they would be in at public school according to their age. Trust me, it’s easier! |
AuthorHi, I'm Melanie! I'm a homeschooling mom of three kids ages 16, 13, and 11. I have a BS in English Secondary Education from Asbury University plus 30 hours of gifted certification course work. I've taught in just about every situation you can imagine. Public school, private, homeschool hybrid, and private tutoring. The most important thing I've learned? One on one, individualized instruction can't be beat. Archives
August 2023
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