When your kids homeschool, typical questions that adults ask can be a bit tricky. The first one they always ask is, “Where do you go to school?” My kids don’t mind telling people that they homeschool, and I’ve honestly never gotten an odd or negative reaction. We live in an area with a large homeschooling community, so most people have heard the answer before.
The other common question adults ask kids is, “What grade are you in?” This one can be tricky for homeschoolers since our kids aren’t in a school with leveled classes. In my last post, I talked about the pressure to push your kids ahead as a homeschooler. We don’t need to see this innocent question as a test to prove our homeschooling abilities or our children’s success. So I just tell my kids they are in the grade they would be in if they were in school. I know, your kid’s in the 6/7 Saxon Math book, and you’re proud of the accomplishment. Your kid just read a novel on a high school reading level, and you want to shout it from the rooftops. “See! Homeschooling is a good option!” But the thing is, that adult probably doesn’t care. They’re just being polite (especially if they’re a stranger) so just have your kid say the grade that their age fits into. If they’re six, just say they’re in first grade. If they’re ten, they’re in fifth grade. This also makes things a lot easier when you sign your kids up for activities like rec sports, camps, and vacation Bible school. I volunteer for our children’s ministry at church, and I can’t tell you how annoying it is when a homeschool mom is trying to insist that her eight year old is so advanced and needs to be with the middle schoolers. Make things easier on everyone and just let your kid be with the other eight year olds. Besides, what’s the rush? Why are so many homeschooling parents eager to push their children to grow up? I don’t think parents realize that’s what they are doing, I get that. They want their child challenged, and they want their intellect to reach its fullest potential. But be warned, there is a cost. When you put an eight year old with twelve year olds, she’s going to look up to those older girls, and she’s going to start emulating them. Gone will be the Barbies and the American Girl dolls, and in their place will be make up and a constant badgering for an iphone. I don’t know about you, but one reason I have chosen to homeschool is so my children can enjoy their childhoods. I’m not going to mess that up by trying to insist in every social situation that my child is above grade level. It’s not going to hurt their academic achievement to play soccer, attend music camp, or go to Sunday school with same-aged peers. If you want them to be challenged in their curriculum, that’s great! A lot of homeschool curriculum companies avoid grade labels for this very reason. Math U See uses primer, alpha, beta, etc, so you can put a child in the level they need regardless of age. Other curriculums use level A, level B, C, et. You can specialize their learning in each subject (this is why I don’t recommend all-in-one boxed curriculums). For example, my oldest is in Level G spelling, 8th grade grammar, reads on a college level, and is in level Zeta with Math U See. He’s thirteen and in the seventh grade (because we would have held him back a year in kindergarten because he has a summer birthday). All they need to know at co-op, church, and football is that he’s a seventh grader. End of story. I’ll end with a story from an older and wiser mom. A few years back, my husband was a private tutor for three homeschool teenagers. One of the moms wanted to fast-track the girls so they could graduate from high school at fifteen. The other two moms were hesitant. One of them had this to say (I’m paraphrasing): “Years ago, my sixteen year old daughter left for school. Little did I know that was the last time I would ever see her. She died in a car accident on the way to school that day. A few months later, I was shocked to discover that I was pregnant again. At my age, in grief, with a thirteen year old reeling from losing her sister? What was the Lord thinking? He was thinking that a baby would pull me out of the dark pit I was in. I named that baby girl Grace, for that’s what she was - God’s grace. Now I sit here and Gracie is fourteen years old. Only two years younger than her big sister was when I lost her. I’m in no hurry to lose another child. I don’t care how successful she is in academics. I won’t rush her to grow up. Not when I know too well how short life is.” Her words will never leave me. I hope they impact you, as well. Perspective is always of value when it comes to our children. They will grow up sooner than we would like. Why rush it?
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AuthorHi, I'm Melanie! I'm a homeschooling mom of three kids ages 13, 11, and 9. I have a BS in English Secondary Education from Asbury University plus 30 hours of gifted certification course work. I've taught in just about every situation you can imagine. Public school, private, homeschool hybrid, and private tutoring. The most important thing I've learned? One on one, individualized instruction can't be beat. Archives
July 2022
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